Lifestyle and Health

MY GIRL

My girlfriend and I travelled together from Kisii to Nakuru town. She was resuming school for her final year of study and I only happened to be there at that time and naturally, we travelled together. We had to wait for three hours before getting a matatu with an empty seat next to the window. She only sits next to the window, she says she has motion sickness, I haven’t seen her getting the motion sickness though, but I can never argue with her for two reasons, first I will lose no matter how hard I try and second she might get too angry that I will need three bars of chocolate and six roses plus a dinner date to get her to talk to me again; at such times, she is only being a girl not a god digger, chocolates and flowers and dinners don’t make her a god digger surely?. Back to our journey to Nakuru.
Next to me was seated a shortish man with a protruding abdomen who kept asking the driver to stop the mat so he can pee. He peed three times before Kericho and three or six times after Kericho so in total he peed ten or so times. I stopped counting when he asked the driver to stop for the fifth time, I just got tired, and a little impatient same to the woman with a uniformed young lad seated on her laps, her son was getting late for school. A female voice from the back of the matatu told the peeing man to behave, a man coughed from in front another man told him to behave, she leaned over to me and told me; the man has a large prostate. Maybe she is right. Trust a doctor to see things like a prostate that is buried somewhere inside a man. She scares me this girl; if I cough for more than a week she says it is tuberculosis. She calls a beauty mark a pre-cancerous lesion. She says I need to see a doctor, because my erection lasts longer than normal, I don’t even know what is normal. She says I have bipolar disorder and now I am scared of either being too happy or too sad around her; she might force me into a mental institution. She farts loudly, and says it is means she doesn’t have intestinal obstruction. Her gallery is full of photos, of enlarged testicles, burnt faces, plastered arms, ugly swellings and the like; she says she needs all those photos for revision. I am worried, one day she will see something on my testicles and drag me to one of those surgeon friends of hers.  She juggles between class and the hospital and class and hospital and the cycle recurs. We sleep in the same house but she lives in a world that is separated from mine by a whole planet for five days in a week, only to come back on Friday evenings and retreat to her planet on Monday mornings. She rarely cooks. She preaches healthy diet but eats three bags of fries at a sitting, I love her appetite I must admit, but she says obese people are predisposed to high blood pressure and the sugar disease, yaani ugonjwa wa sukari and other diseases whose names I have forgotten. She is not fat yet but I am afraid she might become fat soon then she will get all those diseases, God forbid.
She is good, she tries but she is always reading, or sleeping, she only watches medical drama and forces me to watch with her, always pausing to explain a concept to me.
She is beautiful, as beautiful as the morning sun, her face is almost oval, her hair long as a mzungus but black as a mhindis, she has a gap between her upper incisors, and she smiles like an angel; though I haven’t seen an angel myself. She is not tall, she is not short either, just the way a girl should be. Did I tell you about her suggestive strides and oscillating hips? What a formidable combination, beauty and brains, which man wouldn’t salivate at her now? She drinks, sometimes, when her favorite patient dies she drinks, when she fails in her exams she drinks, when she misses her dead mother, she drinks, she drinks tusker, and sleeps, she only cries when she is happy. She listens with her eyes and tightens her lips when angry, she is my doctor girlfriend.

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Doreen Saringi

Hey there, welcome. I am Dr. Oyunge. Books are my second love and writing is my third. Once I take off my white coat, I pick my pen.

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ian omollokemuntomayiolovinemboyaKelelemolyna Molly Recent comment authors
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Were wa'Shitseswa
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Tell your girl to see a doctor – me.

saringin
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hehe Were…i will

molyna Molly
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molyna Molly

Eeeeish! Don’t I just love reading from you. Great piece there

saringin
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thanks Molly

Kelele
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Kelele

That lady that lady mmm…i don’t know what to say about her bt she needs a medical intervention.

lovinemboya
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‘she only cries when she is happy’… now thats a woman. eats 3 bags of chips in one sitting then talks about obese people? haha, I like her

saringin
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you gotta like her Lovine….thanks for reading

saringin
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you gotta like her Lovine….thanks for reading

kemuntomayio
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love the male voice,its natural without medical contamination….. truth told all
the way from the other side of things

saringin
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thanks Kemunto…..no medical contamination lol

ian omollo
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ian omollo

I can neva get enough pal…u just nycc…

saringin
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thanks pal….for reading and sharing and following the blog

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